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[13 Dec 2008|02:01pm] |
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urgh what the fuck have i gotten myself into too. this is not how anyone should be feeling.
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[02 Nov 2008|11:43pm] |
i've realized so much in the past three months then i have in the past 18 years. i've lost some close bonds with people because of the things i've been doing and i don't know weather it's a good thing or a bad thing. i've stopped drinking solely because of the things i did while drinking. self control was never easy for me and when i was drinking i forgot that i actually could control how i act and what i would do. i think that the fact that i let myself think that i needed to drink to have fun with people was abusurd. i didn't mean to let this happen but then again, it's great. i've also learned that you can find the best people when you let yourself just be happy and open up to whoever is around.
once i left madison i felt that i could do anything and i would have something real to fall back on. now working 40 hours a week, seeing people that make me nothing but smile has brought me to have a constant smile. losing some of the bonds i had to gain new ones has yet to be proven good or bad. i hope that in the meantime i can find out the truth, either way, i wouldn't have any other way.
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[13 Jul 2008|10:05pm] |
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i'm not sure if the things i'm doing is really me just trying to take a break and regain myself in the fall or if i'm actually just slowly losing everything.
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| hey |
[12 Jun 2008|01:44am] |
i'm 18
i just got my first pack of legal cigarettes
all is really good
i graduated from high school
that was gnarly
spent grad money on drugs and beer
hung out at the trailer
felt important
enjoying life
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[29 May 2008|12:09am] |
last day of high school tomorrow.
WOOOOOO!
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[16 May 2008|01:23pm] |
drank a lot
smoked with fade
played pong with naso and won
talked to jap about some events
slept in bed with alex, who was tripping on acid
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[14 May 2008|05:58pm] |
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last night on way the home i laughed really hard at the fact that brad teaches gymnastics and delivers beer.
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[27 Apr 2008|07:24pm] |
sex is not stupid
it's a big ball of trouble.
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| royal court |
[22 Apr 2008|01:44am] |
"These are my friends. This is who they have been for always.These are my days. This is how they stay.This is who they remain forever. This is how we stay."
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[06 Apr 2008|01:33pm] |
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sex is stupid.
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[29 Mar 2008|01:29am] |
i can't wait to move out of this house.
i don't care if i'm in debt.
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[17 Mar 2008|06:39pm] |
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i just want to keep drinking.
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[08 Mar 2008|02:58pm] |
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i don't know what to do, he's so nice.
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[27 Feb 2008|08:07pm] |
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music |
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different but the same- ben kweller |
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i've been hiding some secrets and i've been hiding some fears.
i honestly wish i could go back to 9th grade and start over, i could be so much better then i am right now, and i have no one to blame but myself.
i've recently been told by a school i applied to that they won't review my application because i didn't have a high enough GPA until i graduate or take courses at a community college.
now i've been holding everything in for two weeks and i honestly haven't been so pissed at myself like this. i wish i could crawl into a hole and forget about my plans i made. i'm not going to get into the other schools, i'm not going to make much of myself, and i've never cried so hard.
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[20 Feb 2008|12:55am] |
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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh
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[09 Feb 2008|01:28pm] |
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music |
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1984- the french kicks |
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sometimes i feel so tiny, so unimportant. i am so jealous, i'm so jealous, don't you see it? can't you hear it in my voice?
you said you're fond of me, that you love me. i just can't see it, you should fucking adore me.
i don't think you do.
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[01 Feb 2008|05:56pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) maxxxtapes
i really need to stop doing projects
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[13 Jan 2008|11:24pm] |
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i've lost my speech
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